Some of you may know, I am gearing up to move (yes, again). To the best of my ability, I intend to make this my last move before any major life changes [enter husband]. No, I do not want to move again because moving sucks balls. However, while I enjoy the convenience of crawling back from the bars, I do not enjoy the thousands of people who live in each of these city blocks. Blah blah blah. You’ve all heard it. I’ve ranted and raved about the city and how much I dislike it. So, I’m moving on. Quite literally.

I gave notice to my landlord two days ago. My grand scheme is as follows:

• Move out July 20th.
• Stay with my parents for 2 weeks before Sister gets hitched (July 31st).
• Leave for Montana August 3rd or 4th.
• Live with RUUUTH (must be pronounce with emphasis).
• Work.
• Hang with Arthur.
• Work.
• Visit family friends.
• Work.
• Fall in love.
• Work.
• Actually SEE glacier.
• Work.
• Leave MT August 27th.
• Find a sweet 2 bedroom place to live in Snohomish area by September 1st.

It is unfortunate I know all of you too well to really divulge much of a secret but I’ll do my best:

Sometimes I want to beat my dog. Not like punch her but I mean beat her senseless. Mostly just on those days when I am super tired, just walk in the door from being out for way too many hours, let her out of her kennel and she goes nuts, bat shit nuts, jumping around, running fast and the PLOW. Hits me in the face with her damn paws and her sharp nails because my beast friend Tammy still has my damn nail clippers and I feel like my face will start bleeding. I want to kill her. Instead, I grab her firmly and growl, then I kill her with kindness—the smother snuggle—she HATES it…my way of getting back at her.

There are always great dreams, bad dreams and weird dreams. My favorites are the really bizarre, filled with twisted plots, friends and family members combined in the strangest combinations and persona-morphism (individuals morphing into a totally separate person). However, the weird ones are worst. The ones where men morph to women or visa versa—especially while making out with them. Then you’re just like WTF when you wake up (unless you are really into that sort of thing in real life, “not that there’s anything wrong with that”). Luckily, these are rare!

Money is my number 1 stressor. When money is rolling in and my bills are covered +much savings, I am doing well. When things are tight and I’m concerned about not making ends meet, I am super stressed and possibly a little depressed. Example: the last two weeks I had a planned (fiscally and physically speaking) trip to Mexico, I went on a desperation shopping spree because all of my clothes are crappy and, in the name of business growth, I needed new clothes, THEN my truck’s front tires were making a funny noise and cost me $1100. w00t.

Now it’s your turn. Post something I don’t know about you!

Inside? It looks like this:

OOOOHMYEFFINGGOSHHHHHH8*#@)!@(#7531129*(&*(&^!@#(*LQJKJH(*@Q*&@!^#&%R!@*E(W*D!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve been preppin’ the platter: tanning, waxing and soon, a hair cut! There is nothing like a tan ass and a smooth punket! What?! What?!

My last few weeks have been a lil crazy. I’ve been working hard wrapping up my current projects so that I could spend the next two weeks worry free. From this Tuesday to the next I will be on the shores of Meheeco drinking margaritas. Once I am back, I will be working on my business: redesigning my website, coming up with a marketing strategy, figuring out how I will hire an employee, etc. I don’t really know what I am doing but am exciting to give it a whirl!

So, today marks vacay, day 1.

The chain of events about to be revealed must remain confidential, un-judged and, most importantly, a subject of little discussion.

Tuesday of last week I went up to McBabes to hang with my friend The Realtor. That evening during our conversation, I emphasized my conservative nature and habits (or lack there of). Shortly thereafter, circa Friday night, I gave The Realtor good reason to doubt my conservative nature. For several years now, myself and a certain individual of the male gender (who shall remain nameless) have somehow maintained a strange and flirtatious friendship. Our history is littered with random bouts of snuggles and spooning, indecipherable “dates”, awkward moments, great fun and one semi-romantic, semi-awkward under-the-stars-make-out-session. There is some strange power that exists between us, be it thoughts of something greater than friendship, strong physical attraction or a combination of the two. Despite his sometimes often awkward and immature behavior, he intrigues me and always has. Recently, he has been jovial, humorous and all around enjoyable to hang out with.

With the stage set, enter boozahol. Never before has the faculty of tequila absorbed my entire being, crippling any chance of resistance or employment of better judgment. There must be some ancient Mexican mixture infused into the particles of agave. Admittedly, tequila makes me crazy. And when I say crazy, I mean crazy. As the evening wore down so did my inhibitions. It was a little wild, quite fervent and, between you and me, very fun.

Oops.

Are you wondering if I slept with him? Yes, you are. No, I did not—not even close, I might add. Do I feel bad? A little. Would I do it again? Maybe.

Goodnight Bahamas!

My life exploded, in a good way. I’ve been teaching class, going to puppy training, working hard during the days, meeting with a ton of new people, and making money (kind of). :-D

Update on my living sitch. So yesterday I met with some fun peeps for coffee and was advised, if I intend to leave my current apartment, to email my landlord. Most landlords are okay with you leaving early if they can find another tenant to rent who will bring them cash money. My thought is if I can move out early and save money in the long run on rent, it’s a good deal. Well the landlord emailed back and basically said, if I can find someone who is qualified, I can move out. My friend, The Realtor, told me about an AWESOME place out near the country. Stand alone log mother-in-law, large windows, wood flooring, gas heating / stove, 1 bathroom and a loft!

I am NOT excited about moving what-so-ever. BUT, I am extremely excited to move to the country. I also propose this move to be the last before I get married. I’m done.

Okay, gotta go get ready for a wedding…not mine. Sorry this is so disjointed. xo!

Thoughts do count, but the aftermath counts against you.

xo

A tip of the hat to the wealthiest neighborhood in the Puget Sound area. I am a bit disappointed in myself and my beast friend, Tamms, for not thinking this year through. Our most favorite imaginary radio show TBTL (Too Beautiful To Live) will be podcasting live from New York, New York in the wealthiest neighborhood in Brooklyn. We will be solemnly listening from the couches of Seattle. Maybe we should listen from Medina for good measure. Why did we not buy tickets?! Bollix!

How fun would that have been? Spend a long weekend in New York, a city on my list to visit, with my beast friend, attend a kick ass effin’ party with a bunch of like-humored individuals from all over the U.S.? Are you kidding me? WTF were we thinking? “If you were thinkin’, you wouldn’t of thought that!”