Seattle Something

who really knows [about me]

A new distraction for a busy twenty-something Seattleite. Think of this as the Seinfeld of blogs.
PLEASE NOTE: The only rule of this blog is that if you know me, do not reveal my true identity. I can do it myself.

Really?

You can’t ride on my little red wagon.

Post by Post by The Beast Girl  |  Category: Really?

I’m sorry…

I’m officially on the wagon until September. Hold me to it. No boozahol.

Comments (4)   |   July 1, 2010 at 19:43

Oh, do I?

Post by Post by The Beast Girl  |  Category: Really?

Me: Yeah, I am moving to Snohomish soon.

Client: Oh no! Why would you go and do that?

Me: Well, I’ve done the city thing and am ready to be away from the hustle and bustle.

Client: You don’t want to do that. That would not be very fun. What about the lack of night life? And all the way up there?!

Me: Yes! I am much more of a country girl…

Client: No way. No you’re not. You want to live in the city. I mean, don’t you think you’ll be too diconnected from your local client base?

Me: [holding back annoyed face] I don’t think so. I’ve started consolidating my meetings to one day per week so that after I move I’ll come to Seattle once a week. It will be as if nothing changed.

Client: Oh, well, I guess that could work. But you really don’t want to live all the way up there.

Thought, me: OH MY GOSH. You’re right. I forgot you are me.

Comments (5)   |   June 30, 2010 at 16:06

Jack-ass move.

Post by Post by The Beast Girl  |  Category: Really?

When I arrived home after my morning walk with Kita Bear, I happened upon 4 worker men (NONE of which were attractive), two huge trucks and two machine thingies (yes, that’s what they’re called). What were they doing blocking my driveway and entrance to my apartment? Ripping up the asphalt and repaving. Was I notified? No, NO I WASN’T.

So I politely asked them to move their truck so that I may not be stranded and proceeded as follows:

When will I be able to get back into my apartment? Not until 4 or 5pm. Nice. Thanks. A LOT.

[Picture: REALLY? with Seth and Amy on SNL]

Did you not think it was important to notify your tenants they would be blocked in their apartment? Really?? Or that there would be jackhammers and large dangerous machinery operating just two inches from their door? REALLY??? Or, that if they left they would not be able to come back to their apartment until evening? REALLY???

Bitch.

Comments (3)   |   June 28, 2010 at 13:01

How do you…

Post by Post by The Beast Girl  |  Category: Really?

…tell someone they aided in double homicide in your dreams?

Yesterday I saw a friend / client of mine and realized he was in my dream the night before.

Him and a friend of his were standing on the curbside. This girl was on the sidewalk a few feet away. Trembling, she held a gun in her hand pointed at another guy on his knees in front of her. My friend and his friend were egging her on to “Do IT. DO IT.” Finally, she pulls the trigger, shooting the guy on the ground in the head. He falls to the side and my friend’s friend whips out a gun, charging at the girl and fires five rounds into her. I was back 100 yards or so, behind a parked car and saw the whole incident. I turned and started running as fast as I could, terrified they saw me.

Then I woke up.

“Oh hey friend. Good to see you. Long time… So, guess what? I feel weird seeing you because my most recent memory of you is heinous.”

Comments (0)   |   June 26, 2010 at 18:58

Seriously, if you don’t know whether to cry or laugh, just do both.

Post by Post by The Beast Girl  |  Category: Really?

Comments (0)   |   June 23, 2010 at 6:00
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