Seattle Something

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A new distraction for a busy twenty-something Seattleite. Think of this as the Seinfeld of blogs.
PLEASE NOTE: The only rule of this blog is that if you know me, do not reveal my true identity. I can do it myself.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

If I had a man, my life would be complete

Post by Post by The Beast Girl | Category: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Well folks. I got her. Flees, round worms, tape worms and an oozing infection from the flees. Tamms, your husband is a raTard if he thinks $350 for a pure bread, first round of shots, healthy pup is too much to spend on a dog. Suck it up Murman. I just spent $50 for my pup and then $220 for my first vet visit and have to administer pills and powders for 10 days. Then another trip back in three weeks for more shots and assurance that she’s worm free.

Last night was nightmarish. I didn’t hardly sleep and the hours I did I woke up several times. Her crying / whimpering / barking / growling is not exactly conducive to REM. At points she revealed my desire to kill her when her howls sounded like TOBYYYYYYY! I had her in my room, in her kennel / crate with a blanket. Tonight, a whole new game plan. She will be located in the bathroom with the door close, tucked in tight with a blanket, warm water bladder, clock and sheet over the top. Me? Ear plugs. There will be no more crate brakes every two hours. Bumpin’ it up to four. Live with it bitch. YES WE CANE.

Kita Bear. Born July 27th, 2009. She now weighs 5 pounds, 9 ounces. Front row, brown eyes, cute as a buttermilk biscuit.

Comments (2) | September 28, 2009 at 12:05

25 Things I Hate About Facebook

Post by Post by The Beast Girl | Category: Funny Stories, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

This is AWESOME

and then …

Comments (0) | March 26, 2009 at 8:51

NO WAY?!?!

Post by Post by The Beast Girl | Category: COOL!, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

MT. REDOUBT EXPLODED!!!

Comments (0) | March 23, 2009 at 7:35

McBabe’s: Setting the Stage

Post by Post by The Beast Girl | Category: Comparisons, Funny Stories, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Part One, main characters.

For those of you unfamiliar with McBabe’s, please refer back to Mead, Dancing & Drinking to gain some background knowledge on the honkie-tonk wonder.

* The Normals
Pertaining to, or speaking of, all those working full-time, self or otherwise employed; individuals who know and understand social cues, graces and are genuinely interested in the well being of others; persons of intelligence and wit.

Mead *
You should already be familiar with this character.

The Stomper *
Extroverted thirty year old male with a giggly laugh and large goofy smile. Works as a corrections officer. He has decent rhythm but is somehow a millistep off; this makes for a very awesome awkwardness on the dance floor. Do not mistake this for clumsy. The Stomper is very coordinated. He just provides a little over embellishment when there is any stomp involved in the dances. He used to spill beers on the bar when he’d stomp on the dance floor.

Tall One
Tall and broad woman in her late twenties who is currently living off of unemployment yet continues to frequent the bars. To her credit, she is very friendly and does not drink. Unfortunately she her muse is gossip and the fabrication of drama.

Realtor *
Quiet, soft-spoken and seemingly reserved young woman in her mid twenties. Once you get to know her (or she has a sip of the devil’s punch), she’s a bit more spit-fire. This girl is sharp, bright and a little spunky. Very fun to be around.

Smiles
A very intelligent, successful forty five year old pot-bellied, Harley-riding male who happens to be an amazing dancer. He has a large grin and always smiles while dancing. I would consider him one of The Normals but he is a dirty old man who has a taste for women and lewd jokes.

Brother *
A divorced late thirty something ex-Mormon male with two kids who, up until a recent purchase of cowboy boots, wore pleated pants with dress shoes to the cowboy bar. He now dressed in blue jeans and his new boots. Despite the sound of the first sentance, he is quite normal. Nicest man you’ll ever meet. He is kind, easy to talk to, intelligent and very interesting.

Curls and Whiskey
With two (or three?) children at home, this single, mid thirties woman frequents the bar for escape. She starts with whiskey and then moves on to beer. Friendly at first but quite manipulative. She is friends with Tall One.

The Aggressor
A seemingly despirate, overly friendly school teacher who has a very large and obvious crush on Brother. Because Brother is so nice, The Aggressor takes his kindlness as attention and punces on it like a large cat in heat. Her name would be Couger if she went after younger prey.

Comments (9) | March 2, 2009 at 9:08

Clarity.

Post by Post by The Beast Girl | Category: Random, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Ever since I was little my family would go for drives on the weekend. Saturday or Sunday afternoons were prime drivin’ time. With out rhyme or reason, no destination or care of season, we’d hit the road. Sometimes we would go somewhere with houses, drive slow, observing the luxury or originality. Other times we would head fast toward the mountains, curving through the pines with quick glimpses of snow capped peaks. Regardless of where we ended up, what we saw on the way, or how long we drove, I love it.

My sister and I sat in the back seats. I always, and still, sit on the passenger side behind my mom. My legs have always been longer and I, therefore, was privy to the side with more room. My dad’s seat always sat, and still sits, as far back as it goes. For some reason my sister always hated these drives. I don’t remember when she first started to voice her complaints, but I remember her stating this fact very clearly in our high school years. Maybe it was because on road trips she always took [takes] too much stuff and mashes it below her feet, around her body and back behind her head. Though I doubt she has claustrophobia and could actually make a convincing argument for her enjoying the confinement (seems how she always took to confined spaces as a child and enjoys hidden cubbies, etc). Or maybe she didn’t like the drives because she would get bored. She always had her head in a book, which I had trouble understanding how she could focus. I would have read but there was so much to see! Reading seemed so dull in comparison.

Irregardless, her and I are quite opposite. I cannot explain why I loved going for drives so much. I have always been someone who can’t sit still and really don’t enjoy being indoors for very long (I claim the H.D. half of A.D.H.D.) But somehow, I sat. I watched the trees, studied the mountains, admired the houses, horses, wildlife, sky, clouds, and so on. To this day, driving entices me; it is my lure. I often have a strong urge to leave. Not for a while, but forever. Grab my essentials and hit the road, “with no particular place to go”. Unfortunately the PJ in me (PJ being my father: Practical Jon) seems to grab hold. I never end up leaving forever (yet), but the only way to curb this compulsion is to drive. I jump in my truck, Tucker (Tuck the Truck), and roll on. Usually it takes three or four hours before I am le tired and satiation sets in.

I believe my love of driving is two fold.

If it weren’t for PJ’s desire to have a family, I am fairly certain he would have been a wanderer. He would have had a Harley and roamed the States, staying in place to place for a few weeks or months before moving on to the next town, the next adventure. Because of this reason, I think, our family went for drives. Therefore, there is some innate, inherent force within me, derived from my father’s need and desire to go.

In addition to, and possibly because of this last point, driving gives me time to think, providing an introspective opportunity. I crank up my country music and my mind cranks up the processing. I don’t necessarily solve problems while driving, but I certainly gain more clarity.

I love driving.

Comments (1) | February 28, 2009 at 16:05