I will be moving in a week … going to get everything moved out by May 1st even though I have another month. I want to be fully transitioned before I go to Hawaii. This is huge people. I am super impatient but know that it will be another month or two before getting a puppy. It will certainly be after Hawaii but most likely longer. I have come to terms with the fact that there really are no free puppies. I think it is stupid to buy pets but apparently everyone thinks it smart to sell them. So, there I have it. I must fork out the dough and buy happiness. I’m willing, just not yet able. Also, I don’t like just any dog and I am not willing to get one older than a few months. I want to train it myself and want to be there for it’s beginnings! I also want a specific type. As I stated before, I would love to get a Bernese Mountain Dog or Australian Shepherd. However, the Berny is super expensivo (like $1k+) and the Aussie might not be the best fit for my yard. So I’ve been thinking about other types and love, love, LOVE the Akita. They are kind of a cross between a Husky and a bear. My kind of dog.

Please indulge below.

CAUTION: you may start to drool at the cuteness. Seattle Something and The Beast Girl are not liable for ruined keyboards.

Dear Tammy Typer’s Willy Wonka (TTWW, pronounced: tee-tee dub dub),

About a month ago Tammy and I became extremely excited because you told her she could have a puppy. We danced and sang in a glorious delight, joyous and gay. Needless to say, when this last week you revoked the privilege, going back on your word, and became an Indian Giver, we were very disappointed. Therefore, I have put together a list of 10 reasons Tammy should get a puppy.

10. They are super cute and you know you’d love it.
9. Tammy is good with doggies and will do all of the scooping of the pooping (just go with it Tammy).
8. You will have someone to run with you who won’t care how far or how fast.
7. It will add a fun and exciting element to the household.
6. They are fun to take for walks in the sunshine (summer is coming).
5. You will have someone to watch over your house when you are not home.
4. Sheila and Lass-hole will have a cousin to play with and that will be all kinds of awesome at the cabin.
3. Tammy love you long time.
2. The Beast Girl (that’s me) is getting one and you know Tammy will be jealous, complaining non-stop in your ear. You know how she gets and you don’t want her moping around.
1. Because you won’t let her have a baby.

When I get a doegie I hope to get one of these below. They are beast (both meanings … big and awesome). I shall get a male and name him Trigger. Trig for short.

Bernese Mountain Dog	Australian Shepherd

Living in the city brings many things to light; homelessness being one of those things. Seattle in particular is one of the greatest cities to be homeless in. We have fairly mild winters and summers yielding a comfortable climate.

I often drive by people standing on the street corners holding their cardboard signs. I usually wonder how they got the ink to write their pleas. Did they steal a Sharpe? “Borrow” from the drug store? Or purchase it with some fools hard earned dollar?

I am also surprised, for some reason, when they have pets; namely, a dog. You ask for my cash because you [apparently] cannot afford to feed yourself, yet there sits your trusty pitbull. Man’s best friend [even when the chips are down]. Does he eat? I am pretty sure you have to feed dogs in order to keep them alive. So are you asking for even more money to feed Bruno? One for you and fifty cents for the canine? Tell me how this works?

Am I being too practical?!

I am strongly opposed to and refuse to give out money. I used to be more soft-hearted but have since wised up. I’ve gone out of my way to get bread for a man who said he was hungry only to turn around and see him throw it out into the street because all he wanted was money for drugs. I purchased $20 in groceries for a homeless woman when I was dirt poor in college and spent several hours listening to her talk about finding a job. Debbie still stands begging on the same street corner every day with at least 10 businesses with in a block where she could scrub a toilet for an honest dollar.

I don’t do handouts.

Not too long ago Boa started to sleep differently. He began snuggling up length wise, so his long lanky body was no longer in a coil. Marcy also noticed Boa was not eating the mice she provided. For three weeks this continued and Marcy began to wonder if there was something wrong. She took Boa to the vet and the vet informed her what was going on:

Boa was preparing to eat Marcy. For those three weeks Boa was starving himself. While they slept he was stretching out to measure and gauge if he could swallow Marcy. Boa constrictors cannot stop eating. Once they unhook their jaws and begin to swallow, they must go until they finish.

Story Number II from Kevin:

Back in high school my family went back east to visit these same cousins. As we were leaving their house my cousin runs outside yelling, “Wait! I forgot to tell you something!” So my sister and I poke our heads out the window. He says, “Whatever you do, remember this: Who let the dogs out?! Who, who, who, who?! Haha, I made that up!” We did not believe him and responded with, “No way! That’s SO dumb. There’s no way!” but he insisted. We had not yet heard the song and therefore came to believe that he indeed made up “Who Let the Dogs Out?”

Two weeks later we were driving in the car and heard the song, looked at each other and yelled, “KE-VIN!!!!!”

For this blog post I wanted to see if boa constrictors really measured their prey. So I Googled. Here’s what I found.

KE-VIN!!!!!