Dear Boy,

Three months ago I was nearly certain we could have made a wonderful life together—a girlish dream perhaps, but a legitimate thought nonetheless. And with the right timing, maybe that could have been. Today, a sad thought dawned on me: I was a rebound. Timing was not on our side. Everyday I have thought about you, been concerned for you, hoped and prayed for you. Clearly, not the best use of my time.

For the last four years, as you mentioned, you dedicated yourself to that girl—catering to her needs and putting your life on hold. While others were building friendships and looking introspectively, you were in a state of limbo. Not only did it affect your ability to grow and mature, but her actions caused deep emotional scaring. For that, I am very sorry.

Now you must regain those years. You are right; it is your turn to be selfish. You are just awakening to life. If I do the math, four years in one relationship and two in another, that makes six, which puts you at about 17. Since you were 17 you were in two serious relationships, both equally destructive from what you have shared. Obviously the past is behind us and you cannot reverse time. Now all that remains is your ability to recover, mature and move forward.

I am thankful you recognize this fact and were considerate enough to end our relationship before it got too serious. Unfortunately for me, I did not guard my heart and as a fool, fell hard and fast. At then end, when you asked for my friendship, I was willing to do anything to not see you face your troubles alone. I wanted to be your friend desperately, even if it meant more pain and heartache for me. I remembered what you said when we first started dating, that even if it did not work out, you wanted to remain close friends. The best and worst things in life are unpredictable. Neither of us had the foresight to prevent what became inevitable.

Friendship goes both ways. It cannot exist with out two people contributing equal effort. Clearly, this is not a possibility. Negating any excuse of differing ideas of friendship and time investment—you are unable to be a friend to me and therefore, I cannot be yours.

I wish you all the best in your endeavors and pray that you continue to grow and flourish. May God bless you and your family.

Goodbye Boy.

[include poem]

While before I saw the man in you,
I now see the other side.
The man is but a boy;
afraid, unsure, and crying out.
You don’t come crying to me.
You sit alone in your corner,
cowering and helpless;
refusing an out-stretched hand.
I wish you would let me in
but I can only watch at a distance.

Well, goodbye distance.
For distance only exists
if there are two points.
And now there is one.
I can watch no longer.
I can wait no longer.
My mind makes me angry,
demanding my heart.
But it is time.

You made me laugh the most.
I have never cried so hard.

Farewell sweet boy—
may you grow up to be the man I knew.

My wandering mind began to wonder: what happens to all of those things said when you are dating someone? Do they just disappear? Are they zapped from the air and simply cease to exist? What happens?

Everyone says things. Don’t be shy. Admit it. You’ve said to a former [insert gender here]friend how they are the most wonderful person you have ever met, how no one has ever been as amazing, how you hope to spend your life with them, how much you love them and will always, how you’ll never     fill in the blank     , etc. You too have heard the same. So I ask, do these still have meaning? Significance? Or are they truly sweet nothings?

I do my best to refrain from using absolutes when in a relationship. Always, never, forever, and ever, etc. are the adverse adverbs. I need not explain why. Why dumped you a month ago. Why cheated on you. Why walked out the door and didn’t look back, ever. Why doesn’t love you anymore. Why doesn’t bother.

So what comes of these said things?

1. He’s hot.

2. He has MAD dance skills.

3. Vocals kick ass. I lud dat falsetto.

4. Curly hair.

5. Tall-er.

6. Great sense of humor.

6.5. Like SO funny.

So you’re the one
I’ve waited on
the one I’ve been dreamin’ of
Now that I know
It’s hard to let go
I don’t want to lose your love

But what can I do
I can’t make you stay here
But if you should choose to go your own way
Wherever you’re going
Whenever you turn
Remember this moment
Remember these words
I will, I will

Give up my life for you
if you want it
I’ll give you my heart
you already own it
I’ll do anything
I’ll go anywhere
It’s true
I will, I will, I will

I look in your eyes
And I see our life
so full of happiness
do you see the same
or just someone you’ll blame
for things that you might have missed

I don’t wanna weigh you down
like an anchor
but if that’s how you see me now
I would rather
let you go free
Just sail away
If that’s what you need
If that’s what it takes
I will, I will

Give up my life for you
if you want it
I’ll give you my heart
you already own it
I’ll do anything
I’ll go anywhere
It’s true
I will, I will, I will

If ever your day is done,
still you feel you need someone to hold you
I will
If you ever need to talk to
somebody who really knows you
yes I will

ah ha

Give up my life for you
if you want it
I’ll give you my heart
you already own it
I’ll do anything
I’ll go anywhere
It’s true
I will, I will, I will

I will…love you